ANGSTROM @ DIARYLAND . COM

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sleepless

i cant sleep. tried and tried but just cant. too many things to think about and it makes my head hurt. my mom is on her way to TX with Pedro.. i have a feeling im gonna be doing a lot of crying when she comes for a visit next week. i have missed her so much. my daughter got on my nerves earlier.. then she fell asleep on the drive back from taking my grams home and that all disappeared. how i love that child. good thing she was asleep too.. cos, well.. let's just say ive been crying a lot today. fucking tears. i was reminded today of what an asshole my brother is and how alone i am. sometimes i hate reality and sometimes i hate that my father doesnt love me, like today. and i really hate the abandonment issues that i have. they have not gotten better with the years. i also very much dislike it that food has started to comfort me again. thats really scary. well, im gonna try and get some sleep again. hey.. its only 5 more months til your birthday :)

1:01 am - 2007-04-22

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